So Mario Kart 8 is out and has helped Nintendo's poor WiiU sales and as with most of the previous Mario Kart games, it's still mostly based on luck rather than skill. This doesn't bother me. If I want a skill based racing game, there's plenty of others out there. The Mario Kart series clearly has an appeal that keeps it selling rather than be eclipsed by other strong contenders like Modnation Racers or Sonic and All Stars Racing Transformed.
But we all know the frustration of getting hit with a blue shell within spitting distance of the finish line or having a good lead only to accidentally slide off into the abyss. Now with the advent of online play, you can help but feel like others players gang up on you or it seems the human players can be worse than the 150cc AI.
So, as someone who has played every Mario Kart game since the original on the SNES, with the exception of Super Circuit on the GBA, I have come up with a list of things a player can do to grief and troll in Mario Kart. Now this mostly applies to the newest installment but most of these apply to previous ones as well. Enjoy, you assholes.
1) If you're in the back of the pack at the start and get a rocket start, make sure you ram the people in front of you who didn't get the rocket start. It adds insult to injury. I mean it's bad enough they didn't nail the rocket start and they need to be reminded how bad they suck.
2) Is that person slightly ahead of you aiming for one of the question blocks? Race up behind them, swerve in front and take their box. Even better try to get two side by side to really screw them over, then use the item you got to shoot them behind you.
3) Is someone just recovering from falling off the ledge and has just gotten back on the track? Ram them at full speed though be careful as in some cases this gives them a bit of a boost to get them going faster, and with Mario Kart 8 if you're in anti gravity mode, this gives speed boosts.
4) Did someone just get hit with a shell and is near the edge? Ram them at full speed and knock them off the cliff. Star Power optional.
5) Did you get triple red shells? Sure, you could conserve shells and use one per opponent but you're trying to be an asshole here, Shoot all three shells at once at one target though of course you could always just get right up beside them and let the shells hit them that way.
6) Play really well as a character everyone hates. MK8 dropped fan favorites like Dry Bones and Diddy Kong in favor of the seven koopa kids and, even more infuriating Gold Pink Peach and a whopping FIVE babies. Play as a baby because everyone hates the baby versions taking up roster space (though at least now we can always hope for DLC down the road). Nothing infuriates a Mario Kart player than someone who constantly wins with a stupid baby character.
7) If you're playing at home with friends, constantly hit the horn button to annoy the hell out of them. This is the equivalent of constantly taunting in Smash Bros.
So that's just a few things you can do while playing a Mario Kart game either on or offline. I'm sure there's many more I didn't cover, but as we learn with just about any online game, it's easy to find a way to be an asshole.
Author's Note: I'm thinking of doing more blogs like this. Particularly one for the next Smash Bros. when it comes out but if you have a suggestion of a "How to play like an Asshole" bit for another game, please let me know.
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